Looking after myself emotionally and feeling more confident

In October last year I started feeling pretty bad about myself again and feeling anxious in social situations. Someone suggested I go to a place called i-Rock in Hastings to attend a wellbeing and anxiety course, and while there I was also referred for ten sessions of free counselling at Counselling Plus. I've always been the type of person to just say 'I'm fine' whenever anyone tries to talk to me about how I'm feeling, but I finally decided it was time to take care of myself emotionally. Whenever I feel sad usually I listen to music (and honestly there is nothing that makes me happier) but I wanted to be able to talk to someone about how I was feeling.

I realise counselling isn't for everyone, and to be honest I wasn't sure if it was for me, but I found it so helpful to talk about the big things that had happened in my past, and more recent events. Crying for the first time in front of a counsellor was embarrassing but also cathartic and I was so relieved to talk about things that I couldn't with family. By the end of the ten sessions my counsellor told me I was 'sitting taller in the chair' and she could 'see a real difference'. It also enabled me to speak to my family about how I felt about things, and helped me gain a sense of closure on things that had happened.

I was more apprehensive about the Adult Wellbeing course, imagining something like an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and dreading having to meet new people, however it was really relaxed and the people were all really nice, in particularly the 'tutors'.

Throughout the course I learnt a lot about myself and my core beliefs, and coinciding with the counselling, realised why I felt 'I'm not good enough' and that 'I'm not as good as others'. The sessions were all really interesting and gave advice on how to change the behaviours, and eventually our thoughts about ourselves. We learnt about our driver behaviours (mine is to please others) and our relationships with other people - what we want out of them and the best way to communicate.

We were given advice on how to be assertive and how to be more confident. Towards the end of the course we learnt how to manage stress and about mindfulness and relaxation techniques.

I'm trying to sum it up but it's pretty hard to explain just how much it has helped me. At the beginning of the course, speaking in front of the group would have been my nightmare but by the end I was absolutely fine and not worrying about what other people would think about me - as the tutors said, what I say is just as important as what anyone else has to say.

The course finished today and during the past few months I have achieved a lot in my personal life, partly due to feeling more confident in myself. I passed my driving test (finally!) and achieved something else. I thanked the tutors who ran the course, because they really have changed my outlook on myself and life and, if I'm being completely honest, I cried in front of everyone because they were so lovely and wishing me luck with all the exciting things I'm doing this year.

There are still things I want to change about myself and I don't feel completely happy all the time, but I've learnt how to stop the negative thoughts. It is always worth taking care of yourself emotionally and learning to talk about how you're feeling, and I am now feeling so much more confident.

Thanks for reading,
Jessie xx