My First Self Isolation

So, currently we are all self-isolating. I was fortunate enough to have to self-isolate myself before. I wrote this last year for university and thought now was the perfect time to share it to remind myself and others that it's perfectly okay to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I am lucky enough to be working from home right now but apart from that, being productive is extremely hard and I should be using this time to write but I've forgotten what normal life is like. I will mention that I am exercising though because it's very important for mental health... and have also succumbed to Disney+ so will be okay on the binge watching front! *Also would like to confirm that although I thought self-isolation for two weeks was pretty easy, this is much, much worse and I look forward to being able to go out and see the people I love but we can all get through this!*


Everyone always needs a bit of time to themselves, don’t they? A bit of time where they could do or try anything they wanted to without worries of work. In August 2016 I managed to find two weeks where I could have some time to myself. Unfortunately, this wasn’t out of choice. This was because I was having radioactive iodine to get rid of my thyroid as I was overactive. My mum and I joked about it and about having so much time to myself as I had to have two weeks not seeing anybody because I would be radioactive. I listed all the things I was going to do during these two weeks of not seeing anybody: learn to play piano; learn Italian; learn sign language; make some Youtube videos; do some writing; lose weight and watch Orange is the New Black. I was ready and excited.


I was slightly less excited at the meeting with the doctor before the radioactive iodine. This meeting was to test how I reacted to it, and to be given the facts about what I was supposed to do. It started quite well, as the nurses struggled to find a vein to inject me, trying both arms, both hands, and eventually going back to the first arm they began with. So, four holes in me later, I was ready to have the scan to check how I’d reacted to it. Unfortunately, I get incredibly claustrophobic, so I had a panic attack while the scanner was over my body. Next up the doctor told me that when it was official ‘Radioactive Day’, all I would have to do was pop a pill, and then make sure I got home and away from people before an hour was up. My home, which was an hour away from the hospital.


When we did go in for the radioactive iodine, I took the pill and was issued with instructions to drink as much water as is humanly possible to get the radioactive iodine out of my system quicker, and to flush the toilet twice every time I went, not to go near anybody for two weeks, and to stay away from children and pregnant women for three weeks, which was slightly difficult as we were going to Cornwall just after the two weeks were up, so our journey up there consisted of me running away from children at service stations.


So, after a fast drive home from my mum, there I was back at home, which is my grandad’s second flat, across a corridor from his flat. She waved at me from his door and bought me some food and left it outside my door. Apart from a few corridor waves and FaceTimes from my parents, I was on my own. I was also terrified about what the side effects were going to be, as the doctor had issued me a yellow card and told me to call if I got ill. I spent the next few days drinking water but nowhere near the amount I should have been, I had tummy aches, and a couple of nosebleeds, but the biggest side effect was tiredness. I was doing something that was quite stressful and scary, and honestly, despite having two weeks doing nothing, I didn’t actually have the time to learn to play piano, or sign language or Italian, or make any Youtube videos. I tried to do a bit of writing, but honestly, I was not inspired at all by my predicament, and the last thing I wanted to do was exercise. So, you know what I did while I had two weeks all by myself? I watched Orange is the New Black.

This time I will learn to play the piano! And also stare at this picture of people going out to eat and wonder what normal life was like.

How do I keep getting myself into awkward situations?

Eiffel Tower - Paris

So the night before last I booked my first solo holiday to Paris! Yes, that's right. I'm going completely by myself. Five years ago I had a panic attack every time I thought about going on a train by myself (it was a four hour long journey across Canada, but still) and now I'm going to another country by myself. So far very adult right?
Wrong.
Despite having grown up a little and achieved quite a lot over the past few years, I still manage to get myself into really awkward situations. I'm basically the type of person who gets stuck in places (a lift, a toilet and my own bedroom) and who embarrasses themselves all the time by saying inappropriate things (telling a doctor I hadn't been getting any by mistake).
Most of my mistakes aren't really things I learn from, they're more who I am as a person but I definitely learnt something while booking my trip to Paris.

It had taken me a few days to decide which hotel I wanted (obviously I wanted to stay at an expensive one but lack of money). Eventually I decided on the Holiday Inn, purely because it's a chain and  thought it would be easier as a lone woman in Paris, and there's also a rooftop bar with views of the Eiffel Tower, which no matter how awkward I feel, I will be going up there for a drink. I booked It for two nights, returning on the Sunday, and sat there feeling really proud of myself.

Next was the Eurostar, and I got my mum to sit with me to help me decide on the times. I put in the going out day (Friday) and then the coming home day (Sunday) and went to pay. Luckily my mum stopped me as I'd accidentally put March, so I went to do it again, hurrying slightly as there was only 1 seat left for leaving England on the Friday. I got to the paying page and my mum stopped me again as my return day said Monday. I was seriously sitting there thinking 'how have I managed to get this wrong twice'. We went back to the beginning and she helped me this time. We clicked the dates and went through to the next page to then see that it had changed to Monday again, with a message at the top of the screen saying There are no seats available on the Sunday so it will be departing on the Monday.

As you can imagine I was very stressed as I'd booked a non-refundable (because it's cheaper) stay in the hotel and I had no way of getting home. As much as it would be great to live in Paris, I'd much rather plan it out first. Cue panicked phone calls to the hotel (and discovering I can't understand French accents so my trip is going to be slightly awkward) and unsuccessful phone calls to Booking.com (THEY NEVER PICK UP). I ended up booking another hotel (because I didn't want the Holiday Inn to cancel my stay). The bright side is that the second hotel is the other one I was considering and it'll be nice to experience different hotels while I'm there, but slightly unfortunate for my bank account. I've learnt not to be an idiot and always book the travel before the accommodation. I will mention that despite sorting it out, I still felt incredibly anxious and was sick in the night because I literally have no idea how to cope as an adult.

Unfortunately for me, that wasn't my only awkward experience this week. The second occurred yesterday, so twice in two days I have messed up. I had a job interview yesterday morning (I really don't think I've got the job), in a location of an A road. There are no pathways of this road. Sadly I cannot drive yet (I'm currently learning) so my mum had to drive me to the interview and she told me to call her to pick me up and she'd be hanging around in a shop nearby (a five minute drive away). I sat down to wait for the interview and went to get my phone out my bag, only to discover I had left it at home. At that point I started to think Oh god, how can she pick me up? I'm going to have to walk up to a shop to ask if I can borrow a phone. I really didn't want to ask at the job interview because I wanted to look like I was slightly capable. So after the interview I walk out and walked onto the main road. At this point I not only realised there were no pathways but that it was virtually impossible to walk up this road. There was no going back though as I couldn't get back into the building so I started attempting to walk along a sloping bank, almost falling into the road, and praying that a car would stop and give me a lift. I even started to entertain thoughts of jumping in front of an ambulance as a way to get a lift somewhere because I was clearly going to die on this road. Then came a slight break in the traffic, so I started running. Yes. Running up a main road, half crying, half laughing, until I came to a house. The only house on the road. I wasn't even remotely halfway up the road and it was clear that I could not carry on. So I had to walk to this stranger's house (which looked terrifying) and ring the doorbell.

When the man came out I tried to explain the situation, praying he was nice because I was clearly screwed and thankfully he said he'd help me. He then got locked out of his own house and had to get a very old man to let him back in, but he lent me his phone and I called a taxi, all the while apologising for being such an inconvenience. Luckily I had my key and the taxi came and took me home, but if that house hadn't been there, there is a 90% chance I would have been run over.

So yes, in two days I managed to mess up twice. And now I'm going on holiday by myself. Am I even going to survive?? In all seriousness, despite being slightly anxious at my own inability to function as a normal adult, I'm very excited about Paris.

Thanks for reading,

Jessie xxx